omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
