it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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