I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Dignity is for republicans.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
