She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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