I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
