Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
