i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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