She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize