Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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