Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
