i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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