Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
