I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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