make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
