i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
