Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
