Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
