i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
