The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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