I am puke
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize