we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
