i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
