I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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