SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
