So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
