I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
