i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
