I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
