sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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