Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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