Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
