Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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