quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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