my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
