i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
