I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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