So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
