I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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