are you so shy because you have an std?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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