the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
