a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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