I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize