wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
