the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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