my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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