I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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