I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
