every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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