Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
