is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
