why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize