your thong is hanging out like whoa
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
