Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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