the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
