oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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