I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
