I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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