Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
