This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
