So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I feel like death gave me a hand job
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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