i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
